Tuesday, May 18, 2010

KY GOP: Epic Fail

On the 150th anniversary of the Republican Party's nomination of Abraham Lincoln as its candidate for President of our Union, the Republican voters of the Commonwealth of Kentucky, one of the slave states that the cagey Lincoln managed to keep in the Union throughout the Civil War, are poised to nominate as their candidate for the Senate the son of arguably the most politically marginalized member of the House of Representatives and the self-rechristened namesake of arguably the worst novelist and political theorist of the previous century.

Rand Paul's nomination probably gives the Dems their only shot at gaining a seat in the Senate this year, assuring Harry Reid's successor marginally more support for his party's program of bleeding the electorate with taxes, spending, borrowing and inflation until every citizen has become a client.

So a generation from now we can expect a nutjob named for L. Ron Hubbard to be appointed Prefect of the Appalachian Protectorate.

Our recommendation to the GOP after today's big primaries: remove Mitch McConnell as minority leader in the Senate and John Boehner from the corresponding position in the House, replacing them with John Thune and Eric Cantor or Paul Ryan respectively. If the Establishment guys can't run the party well enough to articulate a rationally conservative position to appeal to a deep-red state like Kentucky, then it's time to make way for a generation that can.

*Paul's statement that he's a fan of Ayn Rand but just accidentally stumbled from "Randall" to "Randy" to "Rand" achieves the same score on the SWNIDish Credibility Meter as such famous political statements of autobiography as "I am not a crook," and "I didn't inhale." His statement dismissing Rand's estrangement from the great Austrian economists as a personal tiff is akin to calling World War I a minor misunderstanding among the cousins who ruled Europe. His statement that he embraces novels of both Rand and Dostoyevski testifies to the kind of artistic taste that equates Thomas Kincaid with Rembrandt and Kenny G with Charlie Parker. We vainly recommend exile for all such Philistines.


Bryan D said...


That's not exactly what I would think of as the most politically marginalized man in America.

Bryan D said...

Awww, it cut off my url! It was a link to a April 14 poll hypothetically pitting Paul vs. Obama in 2012 results being within one percentage point of dead. You will again dismiss yet even more of this empirical data concerning the gains of libertarianism on the American voting public, but you won't be able to keep your head stuck in that hole too terribly much longer.

As for Rand, I think he will appeal to KY and win comfortably. But that's coming from a Buckeye, I really can only guess at the true nature of that blue-blooded state to the south, never truly understand it.

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

Fleeting popularity the senior Paul has, with the junior. The ability to lead a coalition of leaders--absolutely not. The fact that each could only count the other as a significant political ally is what I refer to as marginalization. The more people see of the Pauls and their obtuse politics, the less they'll like. They've always been at the margins of the body politic, and to those margins they will return. That they are presently in the limelight merely underlines the way that the present POTUS has failed in his efforts to unite the country except in opposition to his initiatives.

Micah said...

Worst political theorist of the century? Surely you overstate.

Worst novelist of the century? Surely you overstate.

Regardless, the joke's still good:

"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

farris said...

Two words: Gold Standard.

As a cynic who has the luxury of standing on the other side of the river snickering at the thought of 6 more months of having Dr. Paul in the news, I can only hope for a surprise win tomorrow.

And Bryan...I know for a fact that you're infinitely smarter than me - I think there is plenty of evidence that would point to this. But you have to know that any poll from Rasmussen is probably on the outerskirts of plausible.

C Berry said...

You don't have to diss Kenny G or Kincaid to make a political point. Kenny G makes great background music for wedding videos and I never skip the Kincaid store when in Gatlinburg.

Eric said...

As a former Buckeye State resident now living in the Bluegrass State I mull over this phrase, "what to do, what to do, what to do" as I consider fall elections.

Barry "Rooting for Rand" Davis : ) said...

With the choice being Trey Grayson or Rand Paul, I had to pick Rand. Yes, I voted for him, along with a whole lot of other Republicans here in the Bluegrass that are tired of one establishment Republican after another that are simply Democrats thinly wrapped in "republican" clothing. Considering that Mitch McConnell was backing Trey was enough for most of us to vote for his opponent.

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

Esteemed biker in-law: precisely why we urge Rs to demote your state's senior Senator from senior party leadership.

Barry D. (D is for Danger) said...