We awaken this morning to the sobering news that last night shots were fired into two homes in the idyllic, placid haven of orderly and decent Americans, West Chester.
This can only mean one thing: Cincinnati has failed again.
No, this is not an indication that every community has criminals. No, this does not mean that you can run from social problems but you can't hide.
This means that the Cincinnati police and other officials of our blighted inner city are failing in the civic responsibility to confine the bad guys to the city limits, where they can freely prey on people who have no right to expect anything better.
Our advice to residents of our far-flung suburbs is to move even further from the urban core. We understand that global warming is making remote areas of Alaska more temperate. Perhaps, then, one should follow the example of Homer Simpson (click video 6).
7 comments:
On the contrary, we commend SWNID for selling his home near the outskirts of the city limits and moving into the ethnic, urban city center to minister to criminals.
Even better, you have graciously not gentrified your new home, and thus displaced any criminals or made them homeless (by increasing the property values of your neighbors). We are proud.
Hi, Fiona! Great to hear from you again. It's been awhile! I've missed you.
Thanks for keeping this one brief and to the point. Obviously you've been practicing.
Good to see you still missing the point of what SWNID is saying. That's our Fiona!
Jim shoes:
Mighty, mighty perceptive. I curtsey you.
So perceptive that you missed my point. It is simply this: nobody wants to live in crime-ridden neighborhoods, not even the people who live in them. And people who have the gumption to make a choice simply make them. SWNID has made his choice, and he would be a fool not to.
If I live in Mt. Adams, do I live in the same city as those who live in Avondale? Only on paper. Yah, I pay taxes to the same city council. But that's about it.
If I live in Colerain, do I live in the same city as SWNID? Not on paper. But the neighborhoods are essentially the same.
Is West Chester different? Yah. Is it evil? I'm sorry. I have trouble coming to that conclusion.
And I believe I got SWNID's point, (though you accuse someone named Fiona of not getting the point). He believes he is unhumbly, seldom wrongly superior to those who live in the suburbs. I simply disagree.
I also believe that if SWNID can dish out the mocking, he can take it. I'm not sure you can. You may want to stay in the shallows. The goldfish has just puffed out his chest to protect the shark. The shark is willing and able to sink his teeth into me whenever he feels like it.
No, Fiona, you've missed SWNID's point, and you keep missing it. Every time you comment on this, you respond to something he's not saying. So much so that this gentle reader knows it's you who's doing it.
SWNID never once said that people who live in the city limits are helping the urban poor simply by living within the city limits. He's said that people who choose to live in the suburbs are less safe and less privileged and less well off than they think. They are less safe because crime doesn't stop at political boundaries. They are less privileged because the city offers amenities that the suburbs don't. They are less well off because the premium a homeowner pays to be outside CPS is not necessarily matched by the extra value one receives.
That, by the way, is also why I live in the city. It's cheap, it's fun, and it's as safe as anywhere else if you know what you're doing.
For you, it's apparently just city v. surburbs, and the specific point doesn't matter.
I'll keep trying to help you master the finer points, where the discussion is really happening. You don't seem completely un-redeemable.
I appreciate you clarifying what you now say is your actual point. I wish you'd said something closer to that with your original comment. You keep criticizing romantic liberals who think that when good middle class folk move to the city, the poor are somehow better off simply for their presence. Do that someplace else where someone is actually making that remark.
Sarcasm calls for a precise laser beam. You keep using nukes. But your aim is a little better than it was a year ago.
P.S., "Yeah" is the standard spelling for the slang variant of "yes." "Yah" makes you appear to be Swedish. I thought that Fiona is a Celtic name.
Jim Shoes:
If you had something more than a playground disposition to bring to the sandlot, I might be willing to play another inning of ball. Ah, shucks.
As it is, the data totally contradict your "romantically liberal" perceptions, so you keep wiffing at the ball (may in part because you are hot and heavy for this Fiona dame). This will be the last 100 mph fastball I will throw, and unfortunately I expect the same result.
The violent crime rate (per capita) in West Chester is a tiny fraction of what it is in certain neighborhoods in Cincinnati, or in the city as a whole. Let that sink in just for minute. I'll step off the mound and adjust my cap and spit a couple of times...
This data of course fundamentally negates SWNID's point(s) (which underly his poetic satire), as well as the foundation for your hysteria.
If you want to live in the city, great. It's cheap. It's closer to more jobs and more "amenities." But it's not safer. There is a reason there is a premium outside the city. Maybe you should try to discern what that reason is before asserting for the 3rd time (on behalf of someone else) that I've missed someone else's point.
PS: Thanks for the standard English lesson concerning informal adverbs. Because of your excellent proofreading, my material will now likely be accepted by the Wall Street Journal's op-ed editors. I'll send you a portion of the royalties.
PPS: The name of the dame is the imaginative creation of a modern Scottish author, not pre-Germanic Celtic. Of course all words go back to the Tower of Babel, which helps me sometimes to contextualize.
Fiona:
The next time I see you, I'm going to beat you up and take your lunch money. So phooey on you!.
"Yes" and "yeah" are interjections, not adverbs.
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