Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Rather Sues Viacom for Intentionally Mishandling Rather's Stubborn Credulity

Remember back in 2004 when Dan Rather still read the news on CBS? Remember when he said that derogatory letters from George W. Bush's Texas Air National Guard commander had been discovered? Remember when people noticed that the letters, purported to be typewritten from the Vietnam era, were printed in Times New Roman font with proportional spacing, i.e. the default settings of Microsoft Word but completely impossible on a 70s-vintage typewriter? Remember when Dan Rather concocted implausible conjectural scenarios to explain how the documents could nevertheless be authentic? Remember how the loony left began to describe the documents as true forgeries?

Well, as if that weren't all comical enough, now Dan Rather is suing Viacom, owner of CBS, for "intentionally mishandling" the aftermath of the story.

Well, Dan, we agree. Viacom did mishandle the matter, twice. And they should pay for it.

The first was in hiring you to anchor the news. Your blend of sanctimony, hackneyed homespun metaphors, credulity, and lefty sentiments wasn't exactly what America wanted in an anchor-person. CBS accelerated its long slide into news oblivion with your promotion.

The second was in not silencing you when you wanted to go forward with your ridiculous defense of the documents' authenticity. When Frank Abagnale, Jr., former forger and presently a world-class anti-forgery expert made famous by the movie Catch Me If You Can, made his famous remark about the letters ("If I had done these letters, they would have called the movie Catch Me in Three Days"), everyone knew the game was over. Someone should have told you to shut up and admit that a precious Democrat had done something naughty, and that you were foolish enough to believe for awhile.

But no one protected you from your own worst self.

And for that your lawyers want $70 million? Even we don't think your worst self is that bad.

If, however, you can get a judgment for the stockholders of Viacom for the awful mistake of appointing Katie Couric your successor, we're all for that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He would have better luck pouring hot coffee on himself and suing McDonald's or chopping off one of his fingers and suing Wendy's.