Friday, July 14, 2006

From the SWNID Files: Actual Student Bloopers

The SWNID domestic unit soon will be leaving Our Fair City for a one-week holiday at an Undisclosed Destination, so new posts will be infrequent to nonexistent for awhile. To pacify our demanding but gentle readers, we offer this from the SWNID Files: our own compendium of amazing statements from student papers. Most are from papers submitted to our SWNIDish self; some were shared with us by academic colleagues.

"Paul surely heard the whaling Jewish teachers screaming about the Day of the Lord."

A title from a student paper on Isaiah 14:12-15 (which begins, "How you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning"): "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up"

"Hosea was a gentile and loving man."

"Also in the Court of the Priest was a laver of bras which was supported by twelve colossal lions."

"Christ has undertaken men's responsibility. He has relieved them of their accountability. He has borne their quilt."

"Because the main source of communication in the first century that expanded some distance was by letter, it is not out of the realm of probability that Paul's letters were actually his and that the circulation of those letters between churches probably took some time. The time involved in copulation of these letters have led many to believe that others have written under Paul's name."

"For the most part the big events in both the OT & NT go in a specific order."

"Jude is recognizing a problem within the church and he is trying to nip it in the butt."

"Included in sharing the gospel [Paul] shoots a clear theme that proclaims a more pointed massage to the Romans . . . ."

"The key verb in John is 'believe' and requires both knowledge and violation."

"[Christ] first laid out John's character by asking the crowd why they went to see him in the dessert."

"[Jesus] began by asking the people what it was they expected to see when they went into the dessert."

In Nahum 2:4, "I think he was describing what it looked like when the charities came in and they were ready for war."

"About AD 268 Farmilian , bishop of Caesarea in Cappodocia, quoted that Peter excreted heretics and warned against them."

"The first section of [Matthew] chapter thirteen, the parable of the sewer, is a foretelling of what will happen to the people who hear the word preached."

Among the miracles of Jesus in the Gospel of John is "the razing of Lazarus."

"Annas held the potion of high priest in the Sanhedrin."

"The Bible, that is the answer. It is God's reviled, inspired word for the human race."

"The reason for this [trials] is because as Christians we are seen as a threat to satin and his plans."

"There is no crown without a Calgary, no glory with a Gethsemane."

"Since my area of giftedness is in the area of exhalation and teaching, my natural instinct seems to lean toward preaching ideas for communicating this."


Anonymous said...

On the crowning of Joshua thepriest a student wrote,
"And they made a crown for Joshua that he might wean it."

farris said...

I'm so glad that I didn't recognize any of the sentence structure from the above. Hey! I just got GUBLYed. Word Verification RULES!

Anonymous said...

from my classroom experience:

1. SWNID himself (i think) answered with a red-faced laugh when a hermeneutics student asked "what was his favorite [bible] version?" because it sounded so much like "virgin" to everyone else.

2. The student who stated to the preaching professor that his typewriter didn't have roman numerals and so he couldn't provide the required format for outlines.

Fred said...

were those excerpts from the TNIV?

Matt Coulter said...

Just glad that Blogging wasn't around when I sat at the foot of SWNID.

Anonymous said...

How 'bout getting a rich man through the eye of a needle with a blender?

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

That blender to get the camel through the needle's eye was not a blooper but a keen exegetical insight.