As Nobel season comes to a close, we award the first-ever SWNIDobel Prizes.
What is a SWNIDobel Prize? It is recognition granted by SWNID in the same fields as the Nobel Prizes. The selection committee consists of SWNID and his multiple personalities. The criteria for selection are that (a) the recipient must be alive (like the Nobel Prize); (b) the recipient must have had a direct impact on the life of SWNID and those like SWNID; (c) the recipient must not have won a Nobel Prize and be extremely unlikely ever to win such; (d) information about the recipient must be available on the internet, so that SWNID doesn't have to spend time in research.
Winners receive notable mention on this blog, with all the rights, honors and privileges that pertain thereto.
And so, without further ado, the SWNIDobel Prizes for 2008:
Physics: John Lasseter, Creative Director of Pixar. We honor Lasseter for physics not because of his technical command of computerized animation but because he has extended the delightful tradition of imaginary physics that has enriched animation for generations, but at the same time ridiculed it with the occasional imposition of realistic physics in his narratives (e.g., "falling with style").
Chemistry: Dr. John Franz, inventor of Roundup. There's no chemical in our garage that we treasure more than this scourge of all plant life. Thanks, Dr. Franz, for helping us keep the grass out of the sidewalk cracks!
Physiology or Medicine: Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks. We medicate ourself every morning with a homebrew derived from his addictive but necessary product.
Economics: Luther George Simjian, John Shepherd-Barron, James Goodfellow, Don Wetzel, John D. White and Jairus Larson who independently claim credit for the invention of the ATM machine, by which SWNID and millions like him are never far from some negotiable banknotes.
Literature: Mort Drucker, the brilliant cartoonist whose spot-on caricatures of public figures made Mad the formative influence on SWNIDish sarcasm.
Peace: General David Petraeus, whose transformation of strategy in Iraq has saved countless thousands from dictatorial tyrrany and genocidal insurgency.