MGM has announced that the Farrelly brothers have contracted to make a Three Stooges movie, with yet-to-be-named A-list actors playing the diminutive slapstickers.
We venture the prediction that this movie will not work.
The true, classic Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard) perfected their routines with countless hours of live performance in vaudeville. So in Hollywood studios given miserable scripts and lousy direction, they nevertheless created timeless comedy classics, at least as far as the world's 12-year-old boys are concerned.
No amount of talented writing, clever direction or high-tech special effects can replace the woodshedding that enabled the original Stooges to knock heads and gouge eyes with comic perfection.
We preemptively urge all gentle readers to stay away from this upcoming abomination.