After consecutive losses to Ohio State and Virginia Tech in which they unexpectedly led until finally succumbing to superior talent, the University of Cincinnati football team has defined itself as the Team that Loses by Less Than Expected.
And so it comes as no surprise today that Democrat chairman Howard Dean has named UC's football team the Offical NCAA Football Team of the Democratic Party.
"Understand this point," said Dean. "No one expected UC to do as well as they did. All the momentum lies with them. The American people have had enough of these big-time college football programs with their recruiting scandals and players who don't graduate. Right-wing media sportscasters may represent them as the best teams in America, but Americans know otherwise.
"Just like Paul Hackett, just like John Kerry, UC has beaten everyone's expectations as to how well they'll do," Dean explained. "That's the Democrat way. It's our strategy to retake the Congress and the White House, by continually losing elections by smaller margins than expected."
Asked to comment about the Democratic Party similarly endorsing an NFL team, Dean replied, "The first three weeks of the season leave us in a quandary on this point. In the NFL, we're looking for a former champion, like the Democrats, that can't reclaim its former glory. So we don't know whether to go with the Pittsburgh Steelers or the New England Patriots."
1 comment:
Bottom line is - they still lose. Bad for UC and good for dems.
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