Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Robertson Leading in Most Embarrassing Christian Standings

Remarks yesterday by televangelist Pat Robertson moved him back into sole possession of first place in the standings for Most Embarrassing Christian Ever.

Robertson's call for the assassination of the president of Venezuela placed him ahead of Jerry Falwell, with whom he has been in a statistical dead heat for several months.

Robertson enjoyed several years alone in first place after his comical bid for the Republican presidential nomination in 1988. Falwell, who dropped in the standings during a period of near sanity as a frequent guest on ABC's Nightline, has more recently put together a string of outrageous statements to challenge Robertson for supremacy.

The two have been tied for first place since just after September 11, 2001, when both stated that the terrorist attacks were a form of divine judgment on America for abortion, homosexuality and other immoralities.

Robertson's statement yesterday is regarded by some analysts as his most outrageous ever. "At least with the 9/11 remarks, he had some grounding in theological tradition for making such a claim," remarked one pundit, who asked not to be named. "But to hear a self-styled Christian leader calling for the assassination of a democratically elected president, even if he is a Marxist, achieves a new level of brainless, un-Christian lunkheadedness."

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