Thursday, May 04, 2006

Another Chapter in the Epic of Apples and Trees

On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong landed the lunar module of the Apollo 11 spacecraft on the moon. Buzz Aldrin was also aboard. Both returned home safely.

Later that same day, Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy landed his sedan in the water off Martha's Vineyard. Mary Jo Kopechne was also aboard. Only Kennedy returned safely.

According to Matt Drudge, Kennedy's son, Patrick Kennedy, a congressman from Rhode Island, narrowly avoided arrest for DUI in the wee smalls of Thursday morning, May 4, 2006, after crashing his car into a security barricade in Washington at First and C Southeast. There were no reports of any passengers, safe or otherwise.

SWNID congratulates the Kennedy family on its consistent public service, generation after generation.


Anonymous said...

The sarcasm. That is why this particular reader continues to do just that. The sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

The Kennedy's are the best public servants ever. DUIs smeeyueyes. The sexual assaults have truly served the public interest. Only Bill Clinton has outserved the Kennedy's in sexual assaults.

Beam me up! said...

Maybe a more [SWNID] personalized metaphor would be that the rocks don't fall far from the Scotch (or the Scottish?).

Anonymous said...

Let us not relish the addictions and moral failures of our fellow man.

In the blog dimension we must ask ourselves, WWJT (What would Jesus Think?).

He would probably have compassion and mercy. He would probably send an encouragement letter to the humbled congressman's office. He would also scorn the relishment over partisan advantage.

Remember, he didn't need Apollo to ascend into the sky, nor will he need Apollo to return. He didn't need Apollo to baptize his followers. He also had no need to equivocate to be funny.

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

"He would probably have compassion and mercy. He would probably send an encouragement letter to the humbled congressman's office. He would also scorn the relishment over partisan advantage."

As in Matthew 23, no doubt. Gentle Jesus, meek and mild.

Anonymous said...


The last time I checked Matthew 23 I believe Jesus was addressing the pompous, overbearing religious leaders of his time.

Kennedy Jr. is not a Pharisee. He is a sick man in need of the Great Physician. I would expect Jesus' response to Kennedy Jr. to be closer to John 8 than Matthew 23.

The heart is desperately sick, desperately wicked. We all need the Great Physician. That's doesn't blog very well, but it's true.

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

Y'know, you've nearly got it here, but not quite. The Kennedys who hold office are public figures who wield extraordinary moral and political influence. They're exactly the kind of folk Jesus saw as subject to public criticism for their hypocrisy.

Dividing politics and religion on this point can only be done by people with the unfortunate modern worldview that has decided that these spheres are completely separate and subject to different standards.

Were the Pharisees of Jesus' time merely religious figures with no public influence, like the Essenes, he would not have criticized them as he did. But they weren't. They led from a posture of moral authority, like politicians in a democratic republic.

Hence, Patrick Kennedy and Pat Robertson are both fair game.

We say again, though we thought it was obvious: we don't go after private citizens, only public figures. And the person we make fun of most is SWNID.

Further, if Mr. Kennedy were to admit his problem, as opposed to obfuscating on it (today it's reported that his spokesman says that apparent intoxication was not from alcohol but a prescription), and seek help, we'd celebrate. But we refuse to be anyone's enabler.

I wouldn't want to be Patrick Kennedy, member of one of the richest and most publicly dysfunctional families in America. Mom was a drunk; Dad is a drunk. That's just the start of the story.

But forgiveness is preceded by repentance. And public figures need public repentance.

JB in CA said...

... along with public rebuke (as SWNID has duly noted).

Anonymous said...


Would you enjoy the role of rebuking so much if he were a Republican hypocrite?

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

Enjoy rebuking a Republican hypocrite? We don't know if we enjoy rebuking so much as sense a duty to do it and to do it well.

However, we have and will issue rebukes to members of the GOP, even though we get in trouble with the gentle readers of this blog about it.

See here:

which says:

Charles Winburn again today fills the SWNID mailbox with propaganda. And today's offers the most obvious reason yet not to vote for the Hamilton County Republican Party's Biggest Mistake. We quote from the cover of the very attractive brochure:

Elect Charlie Winburn Mayor and violent crime will go down almost immediately.

Really! To imitate the inimitable Dave Barry, I am not making this up.

Jesus warned that wars and rumors of wars would follow his ministry, but Charlie is going to lower crime merely by his kingly parousia. Impressive!

Fortunately, Winburn won't be elected. He's barely leading "other" in polls. That probably explains the tactic of this flyer, extreme even for Cincinnati's Greatest Windbag. He knows he's losing big time, so caution and good sense, if there ever were any, are gone.

and here:

which says:

Charles Winburn is simply a joke. He did nothing as a City Council member except to stand outside alleged crack houses with a megaphone, shouting at drug dealers while the cameras rolled. Out of office thanks to the blessing of term limits, he led a comical campaign against Walnut Hills High School's principal, all based on fictional allegations and all prompted by his disappointment that his daughter struggled there academically. He says we should vote for him because he is the candidate who supports conservative family values (he said so today on my voicemail). Fine. But what does he offer by way of specifics? He'll stop crime (which, by the way, is down overall, not that Winburn will mention it) by building a new prison. And where will he get the money? Private donations! Can you see it? The Carl Lindner Family Center for Penal Hope. The Patricia Corbett Jailhouse Rock. Fifth Third Bank Debt-to-Society Center. The best that Winburn would do as mayor is make America forget about Marge Schott as Cincinnati's greatest buffoon. I say that he's pimping his Christian faith, and as a person of Christian faith, I resent it. We don't need a Republican version of Al Sharpton.