SWNIDish Wisdom for Embattled Solid Rock Pastoress

Today's Cincinnati Enquirer led the front page with a detailed story about the probate battle between Darlene Bishop, co-pastor with husband Larry Bishop of Greater Cincinnati's Solid Rock Church, and the children of her recently deceased brother, Darryl Wayne Perry, a Nashville songwriter of considerable success.*

We see this story as yet another chapter in the sad saga of families who fight over inheritances. In keeping with a long-standing personal policy, we won't take sides in this domestic battle.

However, the Enquirer notes some significant facts about Mrs. Bishop's ministry that tend to put her in a less than positive light overall, let alone in this dispute. So we therefore will take the risk of sharing some SWNIDish wisdom that, if followed, would put the Reverends Bishop and others similarly situated in a more favorable position for credibility in matters pecuniary and pastoral.

• Per the Enquirer, the Solid Rock Church possesses the second largest sculpture of Jesus in the United States. This violates two artistic principles: (a) where depictions of Jesus are concerned, bigger is not always better; (b) because in the history of art, churches have displayed far more schlock than masterpieces, odds are good that anything artistic that a church displays will be less than tasteful. Since the sculpture has been widely nicknamed "Hey, Jesus, Watch Out for the Quicksand!" and since it has become the number one point of ridicule against Christians citywide, we recommend that Mrs. Bishop sell the sculpture and distribute the proceeds (after hauling costs) to her nieces and nephews, as a goodwill gesture.
• We note as well that the church's architectural style is Spanish. We recommend that all church buildings be constructed in a style that is at least remotely native to the location of the building. As the damp, severe climate of Cincinnati is not typical of Spain or most of Latin America, and as Cincinnati has just about the lowest percentage of Hispanic inhabitants of any city in the republic, we believe that the Reverends Bishop should urge the church to pursue more locally suitable styles in the future, to avoid accusations of tackiness.
  
• Per the Enquirer, Mrs. Bishop in multiple venues, including a book, reported that her brother was completely healed of cancer. Then he died of cancer. We recommend that, life and death being what they are, Mrs. Bishop follow the example of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 1, and habitually note that either outcome is blessing for those who know Christ. This practice may lead to fewer speaking engagements and book sales in the short term, but it will also lead to less embarrassment in the long term.
• Per the Enquirer, Mrs. Bishop is accused of having urged her brother not to seek ordinary medical care, instead trusting divine healing. We recommend that in the future she again follow the example of Paul, who urged Timothy to take medicinal wine, not seeing any tension between the natural and supernatural where God's healing work was concerned.
  
• Per the Enquirer, Mrs. Bishop refers to the allegations against her as "a pack of lies" and says that the only truth in her nieces and nephews' allegations is that she cared for her brother for a year and a half. We recommend that when a legal case is pending, one should avoid accusations of lying against one's opponents, lest testimony and evidence yield a different outcome from judge or jury. If Mrs. Bishop has genuinely taken the high road, including self-sacrificial care for her brother, she need not disparage her accusers' honesty; all will know the truth soon enough. Again as the apostle did, if accused she can appeal to the life that she lives transparently before all as testimony against her accusers.
  
• Per the Enquirer, Mrs. Bishop and her husband live on a $2.5 million horse ranch (the couple apparently continues their very successful horse-breeding business, Mr. Bishop's source of income prior to starting the church) near the church building. We recommend that those in ministry who can afford such palatial digs should eschew them, using the assets for more charitable ventures. Homes valued at about fifteen times the median home price for the area do not reflect positively on the values and priorities of their pastoral occupants.
  
• Per the Enquirer, Mrs. Bishop draws a salary of $340,000 per year from Darlene Bishop Ministries, a not-for-profit organization that organizes her speaking and writing. In addition, she enjoys the use of a $76,000 car and a $10,000 expense account. We recommend that persons in ministry who draw salaries ten times the median annual wage for the area and drive cars worth the cost of a modest house should either refuse the salaries and sell the cars or give at a generous level approaching 80%. To do otherwise is to invite criticism for profiteering.
• Per the Enquirer, Mrs. Bishop's NPO also employs three of her children. Their salaries average $75,000 per year. We recommend that anyone in ministry eschew all forms of nepotism, which hasn't gone well since the time of Samuel. For those who ignore this advice, we strongly urge that the nepotistic decision-maker assure that any salaries paid are modest, notably below average, to avoid the appearance of favoritism.

In sum, everyone knows that Mrs. Bishop has a lot of stuff. And so they suspect that she wants more. Had she lived differently, she might not now face a legal battle with her extended family.

So in sum, we urge Mrs. Bishop for the future to consider Paul the Apostle, who chose to support himself with his own labor rather than create a burden for the churches, who avoided triumphalistic claims about health, who insisted on acting on others' needs rather than his own rights. A couple with a nationally known horse breeding business can surely get by on that much, can't they?

Or if that doesn't work, we urge her to consider Christ Jesus, who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to use for his own advantage. Et cetera.

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*Kudos to the Enquirer for not sensationalizing the religious angle of this story in its headlines or story development.