Sunday, February 04, 2007

Colts Win Confirms Feminization of America

With their decisive win over the Chicago Bears, the Indianapolis Colts have done more than confirm that they are football's best team. They have also confirmed that the United States has become a thoroughly emasculated, feminized nation.

The victory of a glorified arena football club over the old-school Bears continues the trend represented by the cultural ascendancy of Oprah Winfrey and the political ascendancy of Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Even this year's halftime show, featuring the virtuosic and thoroughly creative but consistently androgynous Prince, pushed this sorry trend.

Rumors are that next year's Super Bowl telecast will feature commercials for herbal teas instead of beer.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm, a Colts win equals the "feminization of America"? Apparently our beloved writer did not watch the Super Bowl. The first Super Bowl to be played in its entirety through a steady rain presented conditions that were hardly dome-like. Furthermore, the renowned Monsters of the Midway Bears -- known especially for their formidale defense -- were manhandled by the Colts, who demonstrated superior play on both sides of the ball. The Bears, supposedly the bad weather, traditional "manly" (?) team, were convinvingly conquered at their own brand of football (check the stats for proof). Next year, SWND, watch the game before spewing unfounded post-game analysis. Otherwise, your sports reporting will continue to sound feminine!

Bryan D said...

This claim, though it seems thoroughly tongue-in-cheek, flies in the face of the way that the Colts actually won the game which was with grit. It was the HB Addai who deserved the MVP, although one can hardly begrudge the class-act Manning.

The Colts also showed that their defence was able to come up big in times of crisis whereas the lauded Bears D didn't have the stamina to carry them through the 4th quarter. Was it a lack of manliness that saw the Colts offensive line "manhandle" the Bears and make even WWF wannabe Urlacher look like a cricket player?

Even above this, isn't the manliness of people like Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning exemplified in the way they can become champions without disgracing the moral stances they so publically claim? I would think that this would be the predominate definition of manhood employed by the author of this blog an its readership, though I could again be mistaken.

I am lead to this conclusion by an entry made by St. SWNID on this blog in a time not so long ago:

http://seldomwrong.blogspot.com/2006/04/story-wed-like-to-see-about-duke.html

A "teaser quote":

"... [C]ertain sports teams, mostly the ones that involve men who collide a lot (football, rugby, ice hockey, lacrosse), are havens for violent, misogynist, drunken, loutish, boorish behavior."

And for a moment I was convinced that "classic" beat-em-up, bash them on the head sports (teams) were the epitome of masculinity.

So instead of celebrating antiquated tacicts in the hands of mediocre talent for the sake of "manliness," tonight this sports fan is celebrating the class, talent and sophistication of the new NFL Champions. Why? For love of the game itself, not what it has been, but what makes it still exhilirating today.

Bryan D said...

Hmm. My apologies to anonymous for being slightly redundant. That post was not there when I started writing.

Hensel said...

to b-dove,

Reasons Addai was not the MVP.

1. Peyton Manning is the face of the NFL
2. Dominic Rhodes had 40+ more rushing yards than Addai.
3. You can't give the MVP award to the entire Colts defense (just look at the time of possession).

I do agree though that a rookie who rushes for 77 yards on 19 carries in the superbowl AND has 10 receptions for 66 crucial yards on an offense that has Harrison (88) and Wayne (87) cannot be without notice. Oh, and reason #4 that J. Addai did not recieve MVP: Addai WILL be back to the superbowl before his career is done.

to SWNID,

I am disappointed in you're sudden flux in emotion that has allowed you to have a strong (and faulted) bias not based on witty logic and analyzation. This is unlike you. I liked the old SWNID better.

Anonymous said...

i dont care for all the football talk, but i had to get on here and say that this may be my favorite blog post i have ever read here. fantastic, and true.

-justin

Calus The Great said...

Rex Grossman was this game's MVP.

I intend the tone of this comment to reflect the tone of this post as a whole.

Jim Shoes said...

Was I wrong to assume that these Super Bowl posts were utterly sarcastic? Isn't trash talk part of the culture of sports? How would SWNID trash talk?

I'll assume that you all grasped the obvious and were being sarcastic right back, not that you are all girly men.

Anonymous said...

Justin,

I'm glad to have pleased you with my initial response to SWNID, an intriguing blog I only recently discovered. As a former classmate and student of our beloved author, I now continue to be enlightened by his thoughts, even the misguided entries like the one to which I've responded. I'm also hopeful that SWNID was merely being facetious in his Super Bowl post.

Please pardon my typos for "formidable" and "convincingly." My dander was so disturbed by SWNID's blind post-game critique that I failed to recover the unbearable spelling fumbles.

Check out this link for a similar perspective, another blow to SWNID's wobbly -- like a "Wrecks" Grossman pass -- and intercepted -- like one of Bob "The Human Missile" Sanders' thefts -- feminism phobia concerning the Super Bowl Champion Colts: http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/journalgazette/sports/16625890.htm

SWNID, why not admit that the better -- yes, even tougher -- team prevailed in the Super Bowl? In essence, doesn't "Sexy" Rexy now only appeal to the feminine Bear fanatics, especially after his performance in Miami? Alas, he does -- along with his defeated mates --resemble the weaker sex(y) on the gridiron. Maybe next year the Bears should compete for the Powder Puff Bowl. . .

Dusty said...

Even more telling about our culture than your supposed allegation that Sunday's game confirms the feminization of America (which it clearly did not as other responders have well noted) is the fact that your comments on the Super Bowl received far more feedback than did your thoughts on other more weighty subjects. We are a culture that takes our entertainment seriously, but not much else.

Jon A. Alfred E. Michael J. Wile E. SWNID said...

Clearly, if the ickle Colts need all this serious, factually established defense of their manhood, they're even more feminized than we had said previously.

Still, we are glad that they could prove something--whatever it was--by enduring the terrible, dangerous, bone-chilling rain of Miami.

And as to the Bears' manhood, Mrs. SWNID reminds us that Rex Grossman's awful judgment is archetypical of manhood in her experience.

Bryan D said...

That was witty enough to warrant my visualized laughter. So, here it goes:

Ha. Ha ha ha. Ah... *fades into smiles*